Can't Live, Can't Breathe
by musicnotes093
Summary: Episodes tag to "Truth or Consequences" and "Reunion". Her death causes one's life to stop, the other's faith in her to grow stronger, and her decision about him to be set. Tiva/McGiva.
1. Can't Live

**Title: **_"Can't Live, Can't Breathe"_

**Rating: **FR13

**Genre: **Episode Tag, Friendship, Romance, Song Fic

**Pairing(s): **Tiva, McGiva

**Summary: **_Episodes tag to "Truth or Consequences" and "Reunion". _Her death causes one's life to stop, the other's faith in her to grow stronger, and her decision about him to be set.

**Notes: **Written for three challenges, both on Inspired and NFA. Yes, there's a love triangle. It's been a dream of mine to write it. ;)

"No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown isn't mine.

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><p><em><strong>Can't Live<strong>_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe…_

_I'm here alone, don't wanna leave_

_My heart won't move; it's incomplete_

_Wish there was a way _

_I can make you understand_

Of all the ships that had no business sinking, he thought that the Damocles should have been at the top of the list. It wasn't like it was the Titanic, whose great tragedy was greatly instrumental to Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet's Academy Award-winning love story. It was just a simple cargo vessel that was meant to traverse seas and oceans to deliver materials that were unimportant. All that were there should only be insignificant things.

Clearly, it was a place she did not belong.

Try as he may, he could not help but wonder how the waters felt now that it kept her in its care. He could see her eyes shut tight while she was fast asleep beneath the waves' cold and dark caress, and the endless flow of water brushing her jet black hair as it passed, creating a motion through the infinite strands of silk. Fishes would come by and whisper to her the tales of the world above, the world she left behind, and she would keenly listen.

What he wouldn't give to get one last shot of annoying her with a snide commentary or rude correction of a confused idiom.

Often, he would imagine her sitting at her desk, rolling her eyes at him as a smirk permeated through her lips. He'd spend too much time during those moments, trying to figure out what he could have done to bring it about-the exact words, exact sentences. He would lose connection with reality just to focus. Mostly, when his boss gave him a command, his body would automatically obey. He asked no questions, but he worked diligently.

Always, though, he left his mind at the desk across hers.

He did try to reel back his thoughts. He did not like how his peculiar…_views_ of her absence tear asunder his relationship with the others. Yet, every time he attempted to listen, he found that they spoke terms nonsensical. He nodded and smiled and chuckled and narrowed his eyes, but their voices were all incoherent, save for one.

_The Damocles went down on the storm 28__th__ of May off the coast of Somalia. There were no survivors._

_…no survivors._

She was dead. Gone. It was as simple as that, but it was a fact that proved the hardest to understand.

Days and weeks sauntered by, and the tap of that merciless truth, together with the beat of vengeance gaining crescendo, pounded in his ears. It became too loud…

_Grab your gear._

…too annoying…

_Grab your gear._

…too unbearable.

_Grab your gear._

_ No. _No. It was what he said that caused the spinning world around him to stop and watch.

The Boss smirked curiously. _No?_

_ No. We have an obligation. Saleem Ulman has to be stopped before one more person dies._

The noise stopped. The bulwark barricading him from everyone else evaporated into air after laying bare his troubles. When the Boss subtly nodded, giving him permission to do what he needed to do, he felt icicles of grudge pulsate through his veins. He promised himself he would make sure that Saleem paid.

He would avenge the life taken from him. Just like Matt Damon in "Bourne Identity."

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><p><strong><em>Reviews are welcomed! :)<em>**


	2. Can't Breathe

_**Can't Breathe**_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breate…_

_I walked, I ran_

_I jumped, I flew_

_Right off the ground to float to you_

_There's no gravity to hold me down_

_For real_

_ Before one more person dies. _That was what hesaid, but that was not what _he_ believed. He never thought she was gone, even if people around him said so. They denied and accepted, grieved and commemorated, blamed and vindicated, but it never changed his opinion.

Well, not exactly opinion. It was more like…like…feeling.

Feeling. It sounded like the right word. His faith that she was out there, somewhere, was primarily based on what his instincts told him. The night the Boss told them that there were no survivors from the ship, he felt, not dread claw him from forehead to toes, but a soft brush of sorry news, like what he sensed whenever they investigate uneventful deaths. He thought that maybe he was just shocked, and gripping agony would consume him later on that night, but it never came.

Over and over again, he recalled to mind the exact frame of her workspace, both with daylight and darkness, and also the portrait that was her face. Yet, nothing.

It was then he remembered an old impulse. Years ago, when he couldn't find something important, he would know whether he lost it or not by the way his heart acted. Whenever it knocked loudly on his ribs, he knew he had lost whatever he was searching. However, whenever it was calm and softly beating, he knew he would find it.

Every day, every night thinking of her and what happened, his heart's rhythm remained undisturbed.

She was alive.

When they came to the land of sands and wind to challenge Vendetta's power against Death, his conviction was reaffirmed. The second their tire tracks came into the circle, her presence traveled from the idle ground to his senses. He knew she was there, and it was just a matter of time before they saw her.

Before he saw her.

Hits and hits and kicks they endured. He and his partner were separated. One of them was sent to a cage match with Death himself, and one of them was sent to kiss the dust.

He wasn't surprised when his lower lip busted after it collided with the floor. After all, it was all what his worth could buy.

Eternities and eternities later, Saleem brought in another hostage. His eyes were closed, but he could see it was her. He waited to hear her voice, her hum, her breathing to prove that he was right. He had been chastised, glared at, thought in denial, but when he hears her…

_Are you alright…?_

…he'd know his faith was right to exist all along.

_I'm just glad you're alive._

And he meant every word of it. It was unfortunate that he only had the chance to feel ecstatic about the rescue after they boarded the plane, but he guessed it was fine. He was very content that the four of them were finally together, although they sat rows apart. It was silly, but that was how he found their unusual reunion.

Hours into the night, while everybody was sleeping, save for himself, he felt a strong urge to stand up and walk towards her. She seemed cold, sad, alone, and he wanted to be there to accompany her-just like old times. Before he knew it, he was already sitting beside her, struggling to smile without worsening the cut on his lip.

His eyelids began to gain weight as exhaustion perched on his body, but the silent sob that ensued from the small frame next to him slapped him awake. His eyebrows knitted at first. Then, his mangy hand floated up to her shoulders.

She jumped up upon his touch. She paused, and discreetly, she turned to face him.

Tears. Tears fell from brown orbs that were afraid. For a split second, brown and green met, and it was enough for understanding to be reached. She looked away, ashamed, carrying with her tears that blinded. He reached for her face before it was buried to oblivion again. Her lips trembled as she gazed at him. He wiped away her tears, then he smiled.

He did not wait for her to smile in return. She allowed him to help her, and that was enough. Resting his head back, he closed his eyes and called for sleep to come. While he did, he sensed her relax in her seat, and then she was asleep.

She slept calmly and somewhat secure. That was enough.

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><p><strong><em>Reviews are welcomed! :)<em>**


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